When I was in 3rd grade I came home from school
one day and my Mom patted me on the head and said “Tell your Dad I left
him.” And off she went. My parents were both alcoholics and our home
life was, well, grim. I remember
thinking I didn’t want my Mom to leave. I
also remember thinking that maybe there would finally be some peace in our
house. At the time we lived in Emmett,
Idaho. It was the 70’s and a single man
raising his young daughter was pretty unheard of back then. Dad and I had to learn how to do laundry,
clean the house, and cook (which neither of us could figure out). It was a tough few months but we got through
it, together. That’s why my Dad was
always my best friend, my biggest supporter and even after Kevin and Jackson
arrived in my life, my main man.
A few months after Mom left, my Dad told me we were moving
to Colorado. He worked for the Bureau of
Reclamation and had gotten a transfer and a promotion. I wasn’t happy to leave, not at all. I made sure Dad knew that. But he argued we needed a new start and whether
I wanted to admit it or not, we did. I
remember the day we arrived in Grand Lake, Colorado. Grand Lake is a very small town in the midst
of the beautiful Rocky Mountains. The car
we were driving was some fancy Chevy that was a convertible (looking back it
was probably my Dad’s mid-life crisis car).
The first thing we did was sell that car and buy a truck. We really had no clue what living in the
mountains of Colorado meant. The only
stores open in town were the school, post office, grocery store, liquor
store/hardware store and the bar/restaurant.
The next town over was 20 miles away and if you really needed anything
you drove two hours to Denver to do your shopping. It was a shock. Not that Emmett was that big but it was like
New York City compared to Grand Lake. So
began our life in the mountains and the wide open spaces.
As a little kid I didn’t really think too much about being
so isolated. As a teenager I appreciated
the beauty of the mountains, but began to hate the “boring” old town, with
nothing to do, that we lived in. We had
to drive an hour to Winter Park to go to a movie. An hour!
I couldn’t wait to graduate and move somewhere bigger. And eventually I did. I ended up going to college in Denver. I finally lived in the city! I hated it.
The traffic, the noise, the abundance of people. It was just too much for me. As soon as I graduated I headed west and
through many turn of events found my home in Spokane, Washington. I was actually born here in Spokane but I was
adopted at birth and my parents didn’t live here. Spokane is really the first place I have ever
felt that I was “home” in. It just seems
to be in my blood that this is where I should be. I never really missed Grand Lake. There were a lot of memories there – some
good, some not so good – but it was just a place I lived as a kid. Then my stepmom Sandy died and wanted her
ashes spread in Grand Lake. So I headed
back to that little town and something weird happened. I realized I missed it. Really missed it. The mountains, the lakes, the quiet, the
creaky sound of the boardwalk as I walked through town. I felt like I had come home, which I
had. Then I realized I’m a dual
citizen. I’m a mountain/city girl. How is that possible?
That was in August 2012 and ever since then I have had an
internal battle going on. I love
Spokane, but I hear the wide open spaces calling me. It’s the old saying – “You can take the girl
out of the mountains but you can’t take the mountains out of the girl.” I know in my head that we can’t really move
off to the mountains. With a kiddo like
Jackson I want to make sure we are close to good medical centers, doctors and
therapists. I also want to be in a place
where the ambulance can come quickly if need be. Not 30 minutes away. But I feel a change coming. Last weekend the kids and I were shopping at
Costco and I saw this book called “Farm Anatomy, The Curious Parts & Pieces
of Country Life”. I just had to have
it. I showed it to Kevin when we got home
and he looked at me and said “Who are you?”
I don’t know! I’m a city girl who
all of the sudden wants to buy some acreage, have some pigs, goats, chickens, rabbits,
and maybe even a cow who all live in a big red barn that has a hay loft where I
could go read a book. I want mud
boots. I want to work the land. I want
to get up early and feed the animals. I
want to plant a giant garden and share it with my neighbors, who don’t live 15
feet on either side of me. The great
thing about Spokane is that it is a city that is somewhat contained. There are wide open spaces just a few miles
out of the city limits. In fact there
are thousands of acres of rolling hills in the beautiful Palouse less than a
half hour away. Can we find some land
close to town that will satisfy my dual citizenship? Do we move west where there are giant
mountains, ocean water, the Capitol building and new beginnings? Or is Colorado calling me back home? I don’t know nor do I know why I am even
writing all of this. Maybe I just needed
to vent my internal battle and throw it out there. Or perhaps I’m vocalizing this feeling that
I’ve had lately that big changes are ahead for the Klim clan. Whatever it is I have said it out loud and
thrown it out to internet land. As James
Thurber said “It is better to know some of the questions than all of the
answers.” Now let’s see what
happens.
