One joy scatters a hundred griefs. ~ Chinese Proverb
I have a little notebook of quotes. When I hear a good quote, I write it in the book. The other day I was reading some of them and came across the one above. It made me think of Jackson.
Some days I feel like all I do is write letters, make phone calls, and shuttle Jackson around town to school and appointments. By the time I crawl into bed for the night I feel like a whole day has been lost. It makes me sad sometimes. Where are all those days filled with trips to the park, Playdoh, peek-a-boo, and coloring? Jackson’s 3, we should be doing all those things, giggling along the way. Instead I’m fighting insurance companies and Spokane School District, making appointments, and trying to keep my head above water. And there’s the underlying grief that occasionally surfaces about having a different child. But then, just like the quote, Jackson will do something. He’ll stick his finger up my nose, bust into hysterical laughter for no apparent reason, look at me and smile, pretend he’s playing with my hand while slyly moving my finger into his mouth for a bite, and I will laugh. I’ll feel such love and happiness for my little boy. True joy. The griefs will scatter and I forget all about them. The only thing that is important is Jackson. As it should be.