Coming up for air

I recently saw a quote by Tolstoy that made me laugh to myself.  It said:  “True life is lived when tiny changes occur.”  Well considering the most recent changes in my life (which are NOT tiny) I am certainly living!  Living the life of a chicken with her head cut off.  The life of a marathon runner.  The life of a CEO.  You get the picture.  Our foster daughters have now been with us for 2 weeks and I am sure things will settle down soon (see I still have my sense of humor).  The girls came with a few stuffed animals, books, and blankets.  Pretty much no clothes that fit, no diapers, and no toiletries.  I remember thinking I was prepared and ready for some foster kids.  Boy was I wrong.  Getting clothes that fit them took over a week.  Getting all the paperwork, phone calls, and appointments they need is something I am still working on.  Every day something comes up that seems to be an emergency I have to deal with.  I’m exhausted.  And shopped out.  Clothes, groceries, double stroller, Halloween outfits, potty (for the 2 year old), a princess kitchen and play food, more clothes, more groceries, toothbrushes, and a new car.  All things I’ve had to buy in the last two weeks.  Anyone ever went car shopping with 2 toddlers and a 9 year old?  Meltdown city.  And I am talking about me, not the kids.  Just ask my husband, it wasn’t pretty.  But we are finally getting somewhere and settling into a routine.  The girls are opening us to us more and more and we are finding out how sweet they are.  They both have some anger issues but are handling them pretty well.  They love Friday Pizza and Game night.  So do I.  It is fun to hear their laughter and watch my husband chase them around the house.  It’s been a little hard on Jackson, which has made me cry a few times.  I know he misses his Mama’s 24/7 attention and I miss giving it to him.  I’ve had my moments of missing my little family.  It’s definitely been an adjustment.  But this is what Kevin and I wanted, a house full of kids.  That comes with all the ups and downs we are facing.  Yesterday the woman who has been transporting the girls to their parent visits said to me “You just don’t realize what you have done for these girls.  They are happy, laughing, and talking.  They weren’t like that before they came to your house.”  I needed to hear that.  When fits are thrown and dirty looks are thrown your way it starts to weigh on you.  To hear someone who knew the girls before say that we are doing something right gives me some hope. 

My life is nowhere near what I thought it would be.  I’m a stay at home mom of a child with special needs and 2 foster children, who now drives an SUV.  Life is definitely full of surprises.  Some happy, some not so happy.  The trick is finding out how to respond to those surprises that enables you to move on with life.  Something I am learning, surprise by surprise.