Mystery Lane

Mystery Lane

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Happy New Year

I’m not real big fan of the New Year celebration.  I’d rather stay home than be on the road with a bunch of drunks.  I’m usually in bed before midnight (this year I made it to 10:30 p.m.).  I didn’t even realize it was New Year’s Eve until about 3 p.m. this year.  I’m also not a big resolution person either.  I have good intentions (don’t we all) but I never follow through with these resolutions so I have kind of given up on them.  Maybe it’s because Jackson was so sick in December and it was a really difficult time for me, but for whatever reason I feel kind of introspective about 2012.  There are things I decided that I am going to focus on this year.  I say focus because they may or may not be achieved.  I don’t want to get my hopes up and then have them crushed (I still have a love/hate relationship with hope).  So focus it is.  Here are my focus items:

1. Jackson walking.  I really want Jackson to walk.  More than I want to hear “I love you Mommy” come out of his mouth.  I want him to experience getting to move from one place to the next all by himself.  I want him to see the world upright.  I don’t want him to spend his life in a chair.   I can’t make Jackson walk and this focus may be one I have for the next 5 years.  What I can do is work harder to help him walk.  I can stop carrying him around.  I can start making him stand up for long periods every day.  I can get him a stander (if my good buddies at Molina Healthcare help me out).  I can make him “walk” around the house to get from the floor to the bath, or to bed, or to his highchair.  I can read these books I bought about motor control and how to implement it in my disabled son.  He may not like it, my back surely isn’t going to like it, but I have to do all I can to help my boy walk.  So I will.

2. Jackson communicating.  We have the iPad.  The school downloaded the $200 communication program (Proloquo2Go) for us.  I need to learn how to use it, then I need to teach Jackson how to use it.  I kind of feel like Jackson isn’t ready for it.  But I have underestimated my kid before so I am just going to give it my all.  Maybe he isn’t ready, but maybe he is.  I would rather try than not.  Anything that would allow Jackson to be able to express his wants and needs is something that should be a huge focus for me.

3. Yoga.  This one’s for me.  I love yoga.  I really, really love it.  I haven’t done it since I was pregnant with Jackson.  I miss it.  I miss having a relaxed, stretched body.  My body is starting to feel the effects of carrying Jackson around all day.  I need to get my body back to a happy place.  I have no self discipline to do it at home so I need to find an affordable class and someone to watch the kids.  I will find a way!  I will focus on Yoga! 

Henry David Thoreau said: "It is reasonable that a man should be something worthier at the end of the year than he was at the beginning."  I think so too Henry.  Hopefully I will be. 

1 comment:

  1. Stacy, Caitlyn hooked me up with your blog. Wow. I have 2 friends. They went through all the things you talk about. At least you have Kevin to help out. Just think if you were one of those crazy people who had a child without a husband... We don't see the side of you at holidays that you share online. I know there are people you have reached and have reached you because of the blog. Keep all your blogs. YOu never know when you might write a book.It's not fair that you took such good care of him in utero and he turned out this way. It never is. We see him only a few times a year so we see the progress he has made. It's much harder to see when the changes are so tiny day by day. See if you can make friends with a capable couple to hang out with, take the whole group of kids to an outdoor activity such as the zoo (when it's not the storm of the century). A friend of mine had 2 boys, 2 years apart and made friends with a similar couple. Neither had grandparents nearby to babysit so they would exchange their children one weekend every other month and then the unencumbered couple would renew their marriage with a weekend away. It only cost them a small amount but really helped them. I saw them last week and they were celebrating 28 years of marriage.You have got to have renewal time. - Laurel Leary